


Challah

by Zyrieen



Category: Alice (2009), Boondock Saints (Movies), Highlander - All Media Types, Leverage, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sherlock (TV), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Twins, Appropriation of mythology, But not as old as Darcy, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abandonment, Clint adopts strays, Clint is old too, Darcy is old, Gen, Historical Inaccuracy, Hydra are creepy, Immortal Avengers, Immortals, Non Canonical Immortal, Secret Identity, Separated at Birth, Single Parents, Sorry about the accents, Superstition, Twins, Watchers, black ops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zyrieen/pseuds/Zyrieen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crossovers and tropes in various fandoms (tags updated as required). Take ideas, foment and braid together. </p><p>1) Darcy Lewis (MCU) & Hatter (Alice) - Twins separated at birth + Paperwork mix-up<br/>2) Darcy Lewis (MCU) & Clint Barton (MCU) - Secret past + Highlander fusion<br/>3) Darcy Lewis (MCU) & Connor MacManus (Boondock Saints) - Illegitimate child + Daddy's little girl (1/?)<br/>4) Clint Barton (MCU) & selected Avengers (MCU) - Adopt strays + Nobody dies (1/4)<br/>5) Darcy Lewis (MCU) & Connor MacManus (Boondock Saints) - Burner phone + Mysterious call (2/?)<br/>6) John Watson (Sherlock) & Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - Secret identity + chance meeting</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darcy & Hatter - Ill Omen

It's the worst omen in the world, when they're born. Not only are they not identical, they're not even the same gender, and April _must_ get rid of the evidence before someone finds out. There's a Fishing raid that night, leaving just enough time to Name them both and take one of them through. The little one - the quieter of the two, not that that was saying much - stares at the Mirror in wonder as they step through, and it's easy enough to leave the bundle of baby somewhere someone is sure to find soon. Then all that's left is to collect a few Pearls for the return journey, and no one suspects the truth.

Elizabeth curses April every morning until he can change his name to Hatter.

Darcy finally settles down when her life gets as strange as she feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, April took the wrong papers through the Mirror, and never explained the name mix-up to Elizabeth/Hatter because that would mean explaining he has a twin sister and that would put him/them in danger. Darcy was found with a note that basically said 'We'll be killed if we keep her', which is safely stored with the rest of her stuff she didn't go to New Mexico with. She keeps a photocopy in her wallet, though.
> 
> 'April' is kept deliberately ambiguous. I don't know much more than they were supposed to be March's replacement but although competent they lacked flair (and was probably killed).


	2. Darcy & Clint - Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis does not exist; neither does Clint Barton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Highlander AU - no idea where I was going with this, so it's as is.

A very long time ago, she bore the name Inanna. It was not her first name, but it is the first one she remembers, so as far as she's concerned it counts.

~*~*~*~

Darcy Lewis was a foundling, grew up in foster care until she was too old for the State to care. There's a couple of misdemeanours in her file, but what foster kid doesn't have those? She's not remarkable in any way, and no one really remembers her.

Actually, no one remembers her because Darcy Lewis is a fabrication who didn't exist before she went to Culver University. But the appropriate paperwork is there, so no one really digs too deeply, which is all to the good as far as she's concerned.

~*~*~*~

Her name is Adriana when she first meets Valerian and Ezio. They instantly recognise each other, of course, and there's an awkward dance where they try to figure out if one of them is playing The Game before they sit down to a meal. Once they break bread together there will be no violence, of course, and they relax into friendship and then family.

The next time they arrive somewhere, her name is Acca Larentia, and they are Romulus and Remus. It doesn't end particularly well for any of them.

~*~*~*~

Darcy tests out of all her history classes, and develops a reputation as a skilled orator among her peers. After she punches out the third frat boy who tries to touch her without her permission, she's mostly left alone outside of class. A couple of girls in her dorm ask for lessons in self defense, but she refuses. She doesn't know self defense. She fights. She's fought all her life, and she's not going to change for anyone.

Then she tases her Intro to Physics lecturer for trying to extort sexual favours for grades, and suddenly she's on academic suspension with an eye to expulsion if she doesn't get out of town for a while to let the furore die down. Conveniently, there's an internship available in Nowhere, New Mexico, starting pretty much immediately. She very carefully avoids words like 'fate' as she packs her bags.

~*~*~*~

Ezio - Remus - was born with the name Quinto, he confesses as they run from Romulus and his Rome. He's not fifth any more, and he never will be again. She tells him her name is Darya, because he is still too young for the truth of her. By the time they part ways in Constantinople, he is Peregrine and she is Ava, and they have new lives to begin.

~*~*~*~

Clint Barton does not meet Darcy Lewis in New Mexico, but he does see her. Two weeks after SHIELD leaves Puente Antiguo, a letter arrives for Darcy Lewis written entirely in Persian. The SHIELD watchers make a note of her fluency in her file, but otherwise do not investigate. She is, after all, only an intern.


	3. Darcy & Connor - Daddy's Little Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis' da is a no-good layabout criminal. Only one of these things is true.

Darcy is about to turn five the first time she meets her father.

"Look 't you!" exclaims the man her mother has shown in, grabbing behind him to pull another man through the doorway. "Jesus, Murph, en't she gorgeous?"

"I know what she looks like, Connor," Murph grumbles, shoving Connor to get him to let go. "Ye've only shown me her picture a million times already."

Mom looks pleased by this information, Darcy thinks. Or maybe just amused. She looks like she did when Darcy told Mrs Reilly she was a mean old hag last week after Mrs Reilly tutted with Mr Miller over 'fallen women'. Darcy isn't sure why women are falling over, but she thinks Mrs Reilly and Mr Miller should be helping them up, not telling them off. Mom only tells Darcy off for falling if she 'helps' someone else down with her.

"I'm Darcy," she tells them. "I'm five." She looks at her mother and amends, "...on Sunday. Which one o' you's my da?"

"Him," Murph says at the same time Connor beams "Me."

Murph rolls his eyes and edges away from the overly excited Connor. Darcy would be tempted to do the same, but there's the possibility of "Presents."

"Darcy!" Mom scolds her, but she still has that pleased-amused smile so Darcy knows she doesn't really mean it.

"He's supposed to bribe me to like him!" Darcy protests, indignant at being told off for something she knows is true. "Rachel's da does it all the time."

Connor sheepishly opens the black bag he's carrying. It's full of brightly wrapped packages.

"See?" Darcy grins at her Mom, who throws up her hands in the traditional Lewis surrender. By the end of the visit, Darcy has both men wrapped around her little finger, and can swear in four languages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have other ideas for Darcy being Connor's daughter, but not all of them fit together. Watch this space?


	4. Clint & Avengers - Clint's House of (Immortal) Strays (Part 1 of 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the Avengers are Immortal. Clint takes them all on as his students and family.

Chapter 1: Clint

The first time Clint dies, his name is Quintus Sagittarius. He may be a fifth son, but his eyesight is excellent and once he knows a weapon, he hits anything he aims for. The cutpurse takes him by surprise, and he doesn't so much as draw his weapon before he is dead.

When he wakes up, his head is ringing like a bell, and a man he has never seen before is watching him with amusement. Quintus has no clothes, let alone any weapons, and the man has a sword in his hand; he tries to look as innocent and helpless as possible, but he's never been very good at either of those. The man laughs.

"Relax, little hawk," the man grins. "If I was going to take your head, you would never have woken up."

"Well, that is reassuring," Quintus returns sarcastically before his head can catch up with his mouth. Instead of being offended, the man laughs again.

"I like you! I am Caradoc. I will be your teacher."

"...Teacher?" Quintus repeats.

"Yes. It would be a shame for you to lose the Game before you even knew what it was."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Quintus states honestly.

"First, food," Caradoc declares, sheathing his sword and tossing a bundle of clothes to Quintus. "After we have broken bread together, I will tell you of the Game of Immortals."

 

Chapter 2: Natasha

The first time Natasha dies, she is known by many names but none of them are hers. It is the final exam to become the Black Widow: three of them enter the room, but only one may leave. Number Three gets her in the thigh with a knife, but she still manages to snap her neck; the knife goes into Number One's throat from a distance. The world is fuzzy around the edges when she stands, and she falls before the Matron finishes congratulating her.

When she wakes up, the Scientists tell her that although she died on the table, she is the second successful recipient of their formula. She does not ask about the first. By the time she leaves the Red Room for the last time, walking away as it collapses into smouldering ruin, she no longer remembers him at all.

 

Chapter 3: Interlude: Watcher

Coulsons have been Watchers for centuries, but Phil has never really expected to get tapped for active duty. Immortals as a whole were a nomadic lot, what with having to move every few years to escape notice, and he couldn't exactly just up and leave with his job. So when he notices that Specialist Barton carries a short sword in his quiver, it takes an embarrassingly long time to connect the dots. He tells his uncle first, who takes it to Headquarters, and it's not until the orders come back instating him as Barton's Watcher that he starts to regret making the report. How the hell is he supposed to keep a Chronicle when most of Barton's life is classified missions?

By the time Barton comes back from his assignment to kill the Black Widow with a new Immortal student, Phil makes all his notes in a cypher of his own devising, and only reports what can be externally verified. Neither SHIELD nor the Watchers notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Background notes:
> 
> Quintus Sagittarius - Quintus meaning Fifth, Sagittarius meaning Archer. Quintus is the name given by his parents, Sagittarius is a name he earned with his skill. Born and raised in Roman-occupied Britain, about the 4th century. Caradoc (an OC for the sake of needing someone to explain things to Quintus/Clint) names him Gawain (battle hawk) while he's his student, and he often returns to names meaning hawk, falcon or eagle in memory of his first teacher. 'Clint' is the closest he's come to his birth name in over a century; Hawkeye is for Caradoc.
> 
> The Red Room never find out about Immortals, but the Winter Soldier is the other successful serum recipient. The Winter Soldier trained the last three proto-Widows, but was removed before graduation because he started to shake his conditioning. Natasha's memories of him were wiped after he was removed. By the time Odessa happens, neither of them remember the other.
> 
> Clint explains Immortality and the Game to Natasha; if SHIELD doesn't accept her, he's fully prepared to disappear with his new student. It wouldn't be the first time. By that point he knows Coulson is his Watcher and is keeping his secrets, or he'd have already left SHIELD, so he gives them the benefit of the doubt. It pays off. SHIELD now - (mostly) unknowingly - has two Immortals on its payroll.
> 
> More about Hydra and what they know next section.


	5. Darcy & Connor - Marching Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With all the corrupt secret research going on at Culver, it's a wonder they don't get a visit from the Saints.
> 
> Oh wait...

Darcy Lewis has two phones, but most people only ever see her use one. The other one is old, the kind that can make and receive calls and maybe send a text message or two. She's halfway through her final exam, and everyone is glaring at her, but even as she accepts the call and walks out she doesn't say a word.

"Hey, Sweetheart," an Irish voice lilts across the line. She grins, relaxing.

"Hey, Da. Your timing could've been better, I was in the middle of an exam."

"Sorry, Sweet," and he does sound sorry, but she knows he wouldn't call unless it was important. They have other ways of staying in touch.

"What's up?" she asks once she's finally somewhere people can't overhear the conversation.

"We've been called to Culver," the Irish voice tells her solemnly, and her face pales. Her Da and Uncle being called anywhere is bad; the fact that they're being called where she is means it's going to end bloody, and she'd rather not be around for the fallout.

"I'll take an internship out of state," she decides. "How long do I have?"

"Less than a week."

Well, crap. There goes her summer. Also, possibly most of the University. Urgent calls were the worst.

"Sorry again. I know ye were close t' graduatin'."

"It's not your fault. When you're called, you're called. I'll find something."

"I love ye, Sweetheart. Stay safe."

"Love you too, Da. Kill the bastards dead."

"Every last one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and then Darcy ends up in Puente Antiguo, and in the firing line for gods and monsters. Whoops.
> 
> Background notes:
> 
> \- Darcy doesn't say anything when she picks up because if it's not her Da, they'll have her voice print. Paranoia at its finest, folks.  
> \- Connor follows Darcy's Facebook. Darcy follows the Saints in the news. Also, there's a few Saints forums where her username is DaddysGirl.  
> \- Connor and Murphy are on their way to Culver to kill Ross because the events of Incredible Hulk are about to happen. Due to Incredible Hulk events, they eventually manage to catch and kill him after Tony Stark buys his bar. Unfortunately it's a little harder to kill the Abomination, so they have to let him go into containment, but they're working on it.


	6. John & Eliot - Wahya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John meets a face from his past, and then gets kidnapped and interrogated by Mycroft (must be Monday)

"Captain?" a voice calls from behind him, distinct by its southern American drawl from the thousands of British dialects he hears every day. Tourist, probably. "Captain Watson?"

Or not.

John takes a side step out of the way of the other pedestrians, turning to look for the man calling his old rank from what seems a lifetime ago. Before Sherlock. Ha. The vain git would probably get a kick out of that. A man, probably a few years younger than him and built solid like a tank is grinning and slipping through the crowd toward him, a petite blond girl and a tall black man strung out in his wake.

"It _is_ you!" the man exclaims, chin-length brown hair slipping into his eyes as he joins John out of the flow of foot traffic, offering his hand in a firm shake. John feels callouses and scars from hand to hand fighting and old callouses and grooves that indicate the man used to use a gun a lot. That in addition to the salutation say this is a military man, but the long hair is throwing him off. 

"This man saved my life in Afghanistan," the man tells his two companions as they catch up. "Stitched me up and put me back together when I escaped the Taliban and stumbled into their camp half-dead and delirious."

Actually, that sounded familiar, mostly because afterwards he'd been ordered to forget the man even existed. "Wahya?" he queried, remembering the only word the man had spoken in response to any questions about him. 

"Yeah, that's me," 'Wahya' confirmed. "Guess I look a bit different these days, huh?"

"It's the hair," John offered. "It doesn't exactly say military. Do you actually exist this time?"

"He didn't exist?" the blonde asked, seemingly confused. "Was he invisible or something? Can you go invisible? Why didn't you tell me?"

"No, Parker, he means I was never officially there. I can't turn invisible, people can't actually do that." 'Wahya' corrected her, with a long-suffering look at the black man. "What the hell you teachin' her, man?"

"Nuh uh, don't look at me," the black man protested. "He's the one who said you didn't exist."

"That's 'cause _officially_ I didn't. Still don't, some circles."

"Well you exist in our circle," the blond - Parker - said definitively.

"Yes I do," 'Wahya' conceded, shrugging at John. "Sorry man, she takes things pretty literally. Anyway, I got out of that business a few years back, but I just wanted to say thanks. Professionally, for your service, and personally, for saving my life. I owe you one."

"I'm out of the service myself, these days," John admitted. "Medical discharge."

"Tough break," 'Wahya' commiserated, but his eyes stayed steady on John, no pitying looks or sidelong glances searching for obvious injuries. He had unconsciously braced himself for either or both, but the absence relaxed him enough to smile, if a little bitterly.

"Hey, I'm in town for at least a week," 'Wahya' continued. "We could meet up for a beer? I could tell you what really happened in Kalat, if you're interested."

"If nothing else, it should be interesting," John agreed, smile becoming a little more real. "Wednesday, the Golden Eagle, about six?"

"Done," 'Wahya' grinned, reaching out to shake his hand again. "I'll see you Wednesday, Captain."

"Until then," John confirmed, and waded out into the flow of people again. Maybe on Wednesday he'd finally learn the man's name.

*****

"What is it this time?" John sighed as he was escorted into Mycroft's office at the Diogenes. "I've been out all day, I have no idea where Sherlock is."

"Making trouble, no doubt," Mycroft sneered, dismissing the thought with a wave of his hand. "Tell me, Doctor Watson, how do you know Eliot Spencer?"

Eliot Spencer was a legend, a rumour in back alley deals. Professional muscle of the highest calibre. He'd mostly disappeared about six years ago, and was probably dead.

"I don't," John replied automatically, nonplussed by the question. 

"And yet you were talking to him just this afternoon," Mycroft returned smoothly, sliding across a surveillance picture of John talking to 'Wahya' and his friends.

_Well,_ he thought a little hysterically, _at least I didn't have to wait until Wednesday to learn his name._


End file.
